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Fic: Pyrotechnics

fullmetaalchemist:

Author: Arisprite

Summary: Well, Ed can no longer do alchemy. But fireworks are still totally on the table! Winry and the rest of his family are a little concerned. Just a silly oneshot.

A/N: I wrote this just after the 4th of July, so it’s outdated. But, hey, people are still blasting off fireworks in my neighborhood, so there’s that. 

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facts-i-just-made-up:

Scenes from L.A.’s growing magician problem.
7-7-14, Los Angeles. New graffiti was found at L.A.’s George Carlin High School today marking a new height in the occult graffiti epidemic that plagues the city.  Said L.A. Police Commissioner Crowley, “They say the chalk washes away but that’s not the problem here.  The issue is that these sigils are made by amateur occultists who don’t always know what they’re doing.  They mean to mark their ethereal turf but several of these alignments are capable of awakening Samael.”
Samael, last seen slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt, could not be reached for comment.  We at FIMJU wanted more expert testimony however so we invited the mummified head of Necromancer John Dee from its tomb in England for an interview. Said the archetypical wizard, “Where am I?  Why hast thou awakened me? Oh how I long to return to the sweet embrace of death, for my every moment awake is an eternity of pain!”
Troubling words indeed.

facts-i-just-made-up:

Scenes from L.A.’s growing magician problem.

7-7-14, Los Angeles. New graffiti was found at L.A.’s George Carlin High School today marking a new height in the occult graffiti epidemic that plagues the city.  Said L.A. Police Commissioner Crowley, “They say the chalk washes away but that’s not the problem here.  The issue is that these sigils are made by amateur occultists who don’t always know what they’re doing.  They mean to mark their ethereal turf but several of these alignments are capable of awakening Samael.”

Samael, last seen slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt, could not be reached for comment.  We at FIMJU wanted more expert testimony however so we invited the mummified head of Necromancer John Dee from its tomb in England for an interview. Said the archetypical wizard, “Where am I?  Why hast thou awakened me? Oh how I long to return to the sweet embrace of death, for my every moment awake is an eternity of pain!”

Troubling words indeed.

(Source: nartress)

supernaturalisadrug:

yesmissmori:

THINX Underwear:

OH SHIT YOU GUYS THIS COMPANY IS MAKING UNDERWEAR THAT IS STAIN RESISTANT, ANTIMICROBIAL, AND WILL ABSORB UP TO 6 TEASPOONS OF LIQUID BUT STILL LOOKS FUCKING SEXY

AND DID I MENTION THIS PART:

For every pair of THINX you buy, you help one girl in the developing world stay in school by providing her with seven washable, reusable cloth pads.

AND WHY IS THAT SUCH A BIG DEAL? HERE’S WHY:

After doing some research, Agrawal says she found that more than 100 million girls in the developing world were missing a week of school because of their periods, and using things such as leaves, old rags, or plastic bags in the place of sanitary pads.

THE SIZES RUN FROM XS TO XXL AND THE PRICES ARE NOT INSANE, THEY’RE OBVIOUSLY HIGHER THAN THOSE 5 FOR $10 SALES AT TARGET BUT YOU WON’T HAVE TO THROW THEM OUT BECAUSE YOU MISCALCULATED YOUR FLOW AND BLED ALL OVER THEM BEFORE YOU COULD GET TO A BATHROOM

I’M SORRY FOR SHOUTING I’M JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS

LIKE HOLY FUCKBASKET IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME

NEED

swanjolras:

like tbh i feel like my problem with the “dark and gritty!!” trend in modern stories is this

there’s this idea in our culture that cynicism is realistic? that only children believe in happy endings, that people are ultimately selfish and greedy and seeing with clear eyes means seeing the world as an awful place

that idealism is— easy, i guess. butterflies and sunshine and love are easy things to have in your head.

but i’ve known since i was fifteen that idealism— faith in humanity— optimism— is the most difficult thing in the entire world.

i constantly struggle to have faith in humanity, because it’s really, really easy to lose it. it’s easy to look at the news and go “what were you expecting? of course humans behave this way.” it’s easy to see the world and go “ugh, there’s no hope there.” and the years when i believed that were easy. miserable— but easy.

it is hard work to see the good in people. it is hard work to hope. it is hard work to keep faith and love and joy and appreciation for beauty in my daily life.

and when moviemakers and tv producers and writers go “omg!!! all characters are selfish and act poorly and don’t love each other, nothing ever happens that is happy or good, that’s so much more realistic, that’s so much more adult”

no, it’s not

it’s childish.

it’s the most childish thing i can imagine.